Tim Bete, "Guide to Pirate Parenting: Why You Should Raise Your Kids As Pirates, and 101 Tips on How to Do It"
Cold Tree Press | 2009 | ISBN: 1583852913 | 123 pages | PDF | 1 MB

Never before has raising a pirate been so easy! If you re like most parents, you long to raise your children as pirates, but just don t know how. In Guide to Pirate Parenting, Cap n Billy The Butcher MacDougall provides everything you need to know to turn your little powder monkeys into happy, healthy buccaneers. In Guide to Pirate Parenting you ll learn: Ten benefits of raising a pirate At what age your child should be able to remove a bottlecap by taking out his glass eye and using it as an opener Which offense requires administering The Flying Dutchman Wedgie How to prevent sogging the quartermaster The best place to maroon your disobedient child How to remove chewing gum or a giant octopus from your child s hair The difference between plundering and pillaging How to convert your minivan into a pirate schooner Each information-packed section ends with, Your pirate s progress, a short quiz that shows whether your child is reaching his or her pirate development milestones. In this tongue-in-cheek offering, raising a child has never been so much fun!